SPRKS IN CSF: Five or more steps to navigate PTSD during the Hol...

SPRKS IN CSF: Five or more steps to navigate PTSD during the Hol...:   PTSD is like a  shadow that follows you every where , the difference is this shadow is there as your constant companion , just popping up...

Five or more steps to navigate PTSD during the Holidays and beyond

 PTSD is like a  shadow that follows you every where , the difference is this shadow is there as your constant companion , just popping up whenever and wherever it feels like, always uninvited . So with that being clear, lets try to face it and accept it for what it is - its a lifelong companion who is with you for the whole journey of life, whether you like it or not , like a bump or bug bite that itches and re appears every so often, for some of us it is so often that  it is a daily part of the essence of ourselves through out our days.. 

Step 1- Accept it , always easy to say , but can't get to  really do it  as a first step,  so to alternate steps...

a - Have  a daily schedule that you follow  every day diligently, be it on holidays or weekends or work days ie. any day and every day. It helps initially to write down a schedule , look at it , stick to it and don't forget to include  things such as showering or eating/drinking ( not alcohol- alcohol even if it may be  your  current companion is  not your friend , so ditch alcohol ) and sleeping on a schedule.. .some times these basics  get forgotten and lost , especially when the PTSD is really bad . It always get better with time, indeed it does .. .

b-Any kind of physical activity helps , a walk , learning a dance - i say learning to dance , because the act of dancing or singing no longer comes naturally, nor does any of the things you ever enjoyed in the past, they  all  have an aura of a chore when you are struggling with PTSD . Despite that feel , do it like any chore and repeat . On an aside all hobbies that you get into , they are fleeting and thus do not last , so being aware of it helps.. Do still get to hobbies, doing them  and attempting to try them. Any interest  in a hobby or activity is a positive.

c-There is a certain  urge to dwell on things, saying, "why me , how unfair everything has been" etc. But try to think of your traumas not as miserable events, but just as ' experiences' . Life always have experiences, just that  these were hard ones . Hence you are not the victim ,the suffering one , nor under the yoke of PTSD, you are the survivor . Yes you are  just a person  who had some events, which you are going to chalk up as some 'experiences'...This construct is just for your mind  and it doesn't negate the horror of the traumatic event, just makes it manageable for your mind preventing it from unravelling moment to moment. That is one way  you try  get a handle on things in the attempt to live, to  get on with life , one foot in front of the other, one hour at  a time( at better times one day or few days at a time)  and still one step after another.   

d-There are some distressing  things that are beyond comprehension. One of them  being flashbacks. With the flashbacks you  notice that your day just  stayed there and withered away , hence that  feeling of wasted time .. . How to get out of these uninvited flashbacks (ie. they come in all forms and varying severity but they are  never in your control) - Try to find something that you like , be that a beach, a park , a tree that moves in the breeze, then make that piece of nature yours. keep a a picture of it  with you... for all just to escape to breathe , to get a gasp of momentary sanity... those times when you need a visual reminder and momentarily imagine being there . These reminders help you move through your day a little easier and each day these  pictorial images help you to  shed some of the internal burden you carry. Some other things that help are inspirational quotes, soothing music ,stretching , even moving to another place like out doors  , another room etc. If you can catch yourself sliding into a flash back( you can occasionally be aware of this) then these  things aid you to get out from it's  hold a little quicker . Some times you have to do multiple things , but you try and try again . If possible any physical motion or movements help and can be done unobtrusively wherever you are at. Some days you may just wake up feeling restless, annoyed ,but  do know these  are all part of the PTSD.

f-Nightmares... like the flash backs they are there... only how bad or how often they are present varies. They tend to come in groups . Bring yourself to think of them as movies ,but just horrible ones. Another helpful step is this -before you sleep try to tell yourself how the  room is yours and look at the things that make it your room and force yourself to own it ,to make it yours .This will have to be repeated for many many days. When you wake with a nightmare , it helps if you can get to ground yourself by looking and seeing something that will get your mind and brain  to move to  the present place and time. It doesn't reduce or negate the jarring nightmare that was present, just make you become aware to the  present .Yet it will be hard to fall back to sleep. This is the time when you try to day dream of your favorite place in your mind to force yourself to get back to sleep again , to get back to sleep hoping of no more nightmares . But the reality is  that they just come , so go on doing it over and over , and manage to get whatever measly sleep you can(nightmares are going to be there, but they  do become less with  time) So...

g-feeling of disconnect and lack of joy...The biggest bummer  is when you feel disconnect to your children , especially to your young child - it  always put an added layer of guilt and anger . Force to act the part of what you think  is the normal action , what has to be done  to interact  and do that acting part when faced with disconnect . With time the connectedness happen (this may come in on and off form and do take time ,so do persist to act the part) If you feel angry , do work out ,or use that energy to get things done that tend to be put off..... postponed or neglected from  day to day. The reality is there is a constant inertia that I can only describe as "being weighed down  and feeling of being stuck in cement , unable to move" It helps to have a list of prioritized tasks to complete/do as  the tendency is to focus on and to do non essentials at any given time , anger works as an energizer to task completion. No feeling of achievement will be present ,(even if you win the Nobel prize, the feeling of achievement can be absent) so say to your-self that you did it  .

h-guilt feelings and remorse . Guilt and remorse of what you lost or what could have been is a definite feeling - so come to accept that the present life is yours . It is during the holiday season and special occasions  that they seem to envelope you  more than any other time. At these times this remorse and guilt  seems to become so huge and untamable . How ever force yourself not to ever compare  your day or  life to some one else's. I think it is hard to do , but focus instead  on how you can help another in need , do anything to help others and that seems to make the day bearable and at some point you start looking at  some of the silver lining of your  big cloud...yes the cloud that goes with you everywhere and comes uninvited .

I have only given a brief mini guide . So many  a times  you are going to feel that  you are not you , but the you that is there will come together slowly bit by bit...Yes time , sometimes it seems  such a  long wait , but time  helps, and so do your efforts in those  everyday  small steps you take  . 

I may add updates to this , but for now , give these suggestions a try, one small unsteady step at  a time. I hope you do, and thus get to  finally see how to manage one day after another. Just remind yourself that  one cannot identify people who have Diabetes if and when you come across them. Like wise you don't know who all around you or me has  PTSD. As anyone with PTSD knows  you feel everyone else can see it in you , but as I said , its invisible just like the disease Diabetes...

an addendum-

what has helped me  at the many recurring low points is, if I do something to help others, or to think of  some other person who may have worse  life events in front if them , mostly  beyond their control, of where or how they were born etc . I end up giving to charity , many a time though in small amounts that I can , I do these moments to direct my thoughts  to MSF(https://www.doctorswithoutborders.org) give in  small amounts as it gives me momentary sense of peace as I feel they are helping those in need in places other charities may not get to. 

(by  peace crane-3 -12/15/2021)