Sunday, September 30, 2018

Sexual Harrassment - # Me too versus # Not Me at all

The # me too and the talk of 'being victimized' brought up an important question to my mind.. . How many women or girls who presently occupy this earth can clearly and unequivocally say that they were never victimized in any form, not preyed upon, not violenced against or had a molestation attempt made towards them.
I for sure cannot stand under that umbrella. But I am not going to take it sitting down either. Years have gone by , even decades. I interact with those  attemptor ones on many an occasion, in family, friend groups and some even professionally. But it still  come as a surprise when in this ripe old age  of mine ,a man purposely brushes up or grabs, and  this still shocks me  into silence .
The most recent event occurred while  standing with a peer at a dinner event , my peer's husband grabbed me as he made his way to her side. what do you do...first you stare, in shocked surprise, then you recognize you have been muted, by the event and the fact that it is your peer nearby and there is no way to do much about it , its just awkward...
The occasion  of the  day and the public nature if it all further mutes you, even as you seethe over it repeatedly. I am grateful for a hawkine  hovering  by both my parents, ( even as I resented it so much at that time )so I was really spared these occurrences of untarnished sexual aggression that is laced with physical and emotional aggression until later in life... (even such a possibility did not cross my path until I was sixteen, when I yelled all the curses I could gather  at the boy  who ran to grab  me on my way back from school  and continued his run. I ran after him , threw whatever I  could grab from the road side  and then went and told my parents and the school--sixteen is elderly by the subcontinent gauge according to what I have understood from the lives of my friends at that time ).That subtle secure feeling  may have helped me to go forward despite all these and many more  that got  piled on me , sometimes I think more than a lifetime can ever handle...

Yet there is more for life, more to worth measures in our lifetimes . I say power to the rare women who can say..."not me at all". For the others , more power to them to hold their heads high and go forward ,for there is so much to be done , to make even the slightest ripple  in this oceanic vastness of powered aggressors and their deeds.
There is no time to rest, indeed .
 I just saw the news item about sexual misconduct is discussed in the capitol hill, which gives me further hope.
All of us, mothers , grandmothers, aunts  sisters and daughters  have work to do...WE ALL NEED TO STAND UP TOGETHER  , use our collective effort and make the change to change those around us , we ARE NOT victims, but powered ones who start that change ....

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